my life without me II

my life without me, part III

2008-06-07T17:44:00.002+09:00

i moved. again.

nice! but is it art?

2007-04-23T00:46:00.000+09:00

the innards of my bag, spring 2007 collection.

(credit for the "spring 2007 collection" name goes to my dear friend sasho, who also manages to accumulate whole collections of (mostly) trash and (some) valuables, only in the pockets of his vest, not his bag. same thing.)

2007-04-03T20:01:00.000+09:00

shibuya/tokyo, january/2005

this is an old photo, but i'm a bit old fashioned and still use film and stuff takes time. especially for a procrastinator like me (ha ha).

anyway, i started a food blog with a friend of mine, magdalina. it's in bulgarian. there's too few recipes still to show, but go check it out. and come back in a few months. :)

2007-01-19T05:16:00.000+08:00

kim, 271 days ago, near lake biwa

one of my favorite photos.

българско обслужване

2007-01-17T01:48:00.000+08:00

нещо се случи със скъпоценния ми айпод преди няколко дни - звукът в едната слушалка изчезна. първо си помислих, че е от слушалките. аз чупя средно по два чифта слушалки на година. прибрах се вкъщи, и включих домашните слушалки (които, учудващо, работят чудесно все още, но имат прекалено окаян вид да бъдат разхождани навън). същата работа. тогава настана истинската паника - айподът не е наред!

със силно ускорен пулс се обадих на apple.bg и те ме насочиха към viewpoint, оторизиран сервиз на apple продукти за българия. тъй като беше събота, юнаците от viewpoint не работеха и някак трябваше да изтрая до понеделник. в понеделник любезен служител ми обясни, че "колегата, който поправя айподите го няма днес, обадете се утре. стига да има налични части, ще Ви поправи айпода, разбира се, да."

успокоена от идеята, че все пак това се поправя, затворих телефона и реших за всеки случай да се информирам какви са ми опциите. на няколко места в интернет намерих инфо за дадения проблем, резервни части, дори картинно обяснение как сам да си разглобиш машинката и да и смениш въпросния жак(нещо, с което никога не бих се справила, но все пак). разбира се, образовах се и как седи въпроса с продукти, които все още са в гаранция, тъй като моят все пак все още е млад, няма и осем месеца. оказа се, че ако го пратя на apple, те са длъжни да ми изпратят чисто нов такъв. иха!

все пак, обадих се във viewpoint днес, понеже като истинска българка нямам никакво консуматорско съзнание и съм убедена, че ако нещо се счупи докато е в гаранционен срок, проблемът си е мой. тьй като разговорът, проведен с айпод спеца, не подлежи на преразказ, ще ви го предам точно както протече:

аз: - добър ден. имам проблем с айпода, изглежда се е развалило гнездото на слушалките на жака. колегата ви ми каза вчера, че стига да имате части, ще го поправите.

спец: - няма такова нещо! apple продуктите не обичат да бъдат отваряни! трябва ви нов!

аз: - ??? (много исках да го попитам, "а в такъв случай, вие какво работите?)

спец: - нов айпод си поръчвате и готово.

аз: - но в интернет на няколко места пише, че това е поправим дефект. дори видях да се продават части.

спец: - ми тогава го занесете на тоя, дето ги е писал тия неща. той да ви го поправи.

аз: - ?!??!? а какво, ако айпода ми все още е в гаранция?

спец: - е тогава ще ви го сменят от apple, ако си донесете гаранционната карта. безплатно.

аз: - благодаря. довиждане.

представителството на apple в българия е младо. дори да беше старо, според вас редно ли е да се държат така с клиентите си? при положение, че са сервиз, за бога. как си го позволяват? редно ли е някой мъж на средна възраст да ми обяснява троснато как понеже машинката не можела да се поправи, трябва да дам 719 лева за нова, без дори да спомене думи като гаранция или ремонт??? не е ли време да се промени тъпото отношение към клиентите в българия?

намерих си гаранционната карта и отивам утре в магазина на apple, и ако не ми сменят айпода, ще има война.

five obscure facts about me

2007-01-13T19:50:00.000+08:00

sophie calle
from suite vénitienne

this thing has been going around many bulgarian blogs lately. i shall succumb. (sara, i know you will, too.)

share five obscure facts about yourself:

1. i always put on my left sock first. same goes for shoes. i also always make the first step with my left foot. yes, it's crazy in that as-good-as-it-gets kind of way, i know.

2. most of my left front tooth is fake. i broke my real tooth when i was seven or eight years old when i ran into a fence. i wasn't a quiet kid. i became one later.

3. most people's childhood memories start really early, around age three or four. i don't remember anything before age seven. i find it slightly disturbing but i try not to think about it.

4. once i cried at a commercial. i cry easily.

5. i suppose living in japan did that to me, but i can fall asleep virtually anywhere, including all sorts of public transportation. luckily, i always wake up before i have to get off. but once i nearly missed my flight from dubai because i was sleeping like a a baby lamb in front of my gate and no one woke me up.

via boyana

a lullaby

2007-01-11T07:51:00.000+08:00

i'm completely exhausted, but i can't sleep. my body is shaking from the insane amounts of coffee i shouldn't have had today, but did anyway.

julie doiron is a singer of a very rare species. her music is quiet, almost whispered, her voice sounding like she's telling her lover how much she loves him, at 2.19am, while watching him sleep. the guitar/trumpet/cello sing along quietly, almost like being shadows of her voice.

her albums heart and crime and desormais are my soundtrack to this month, so far. mature, tender, and unadorned, julie doiron's music really makes me feel almost like i'm in love.

julie doiron - shivers + crickets

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scrabble for one

2006-12-21T02:50:00.000+08:00

what my friend rani said about damien rice in a recent conversation.

2006-12-19T06:28:00.000+08:00

i know i've mentioned miranda july before, but, well, i'll mention her again.

i recently remembered one of her projects that touched me when i saw it for the first time, around last february. then i forgot about it until about a week ago and it's been entertaining me ever since.
in short, it's a website with various crazy and amusing assignments given by miranda july and harrell fletcher. anyone who reads the assignments is welcome to complete any of them and get their work displayed. the idea of all this is to lead people into new/fun/healing/thought-provoking experiences. i've been toying with the idea of doing an assignment or two. some of my favorites are:

Draw a constellation from someone's freckles

Write a press release about an everyday event.

Lipsync to shy neighbor's Garth Brooks cover. (ha!)

Make a portrait of your friend's desires.

Draw the news.

Write the phone call you wish you could have.

Take a flash photo under your bed.

Make a child's outfit in an adult size.

check it out. it might inspire you.

smog - to be of use

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RA meeting recap

2006-12-17T17:36:00.001+08:00

what happens when you gather a bunch of strangers (who thought they had one thing in common) around a table with many bottles of red wine?
three things: 1. they have fun 2. they discover they have a lot more in common 3. a hangover the next morning.

how it all began: petya and i met a couple of weeks ago and had a really fun evening out blabbing about the ups and downs of coming back to bulgaria. later, she mentioned that in her blog, nicky said in a comment he returned to the mothership, too, and i added a half-serious comment that we should start a support circle for returnees. petya was the one to give my sarcastic comment a kick - she offered that we throw a returnees anonymous party. then elena and DJ (or is it denny?) got excited by the idea, everyone brought along more returnees (ani, emma, vessela, ivo, doriana)and, well, the rest is history...

there were lots of laughs, ordering bottle after bottle of red wine followed by maniacal-looking-in-the-eye toasts, and talking about anything and everything. some of the conversation topics included: sushi, throwing a sushi party in LIULIN(!), The Reason for having seven years of bad sex, socialism, whether emma looks like a whore or a transvestite or neither, julia kristeva, a wedding :), white snake, antidepressants, a sad boy george story, atheism, and, of course, the eternal "should i stay or should i go" debacle so commonly found in the minds of young bulgarians. all this followed by mad e-mail/phone number exchange.

somewhere amidst all the words and laughter and wine i somehow got chosen (well, okay, proclaimed myself) to be the future godmother of the wonderful kyle. i've got enough reasons to think me baptizing kyle will be the biggest travesty ever and god, will it be fun!

we finally had to leave the place around 2am (two hours after closing time) but i don't think anyone wanted to leave. at least i didn't.

not believing in herd type events, i didn't think this party would go so well. but it did. i met lots of cool people and they felt like friends. i can't wait to meet them again.

p.s. my cure for hangover: a painkiller, an upsarin c, a pot of coffee and beta band's "dog got a bone"
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what's yours?

camille

2006-12-15T18:48:00.000+08:00

i've always thought youtube videos look ugly embedded in blogs, but i just couldn't resist.

this is camille, an ex-nouvelle vague vocalist. she released her amazing second solo album "le fil" last year (and i discovered her just yesterday), in which the only accompanying instruments used are the double bass and keyboards. incredibly, everything else on it is voice, clapping, and snapping of fingers.

check the live version of "ta douleur" out, it's spectacular.

how cool is this woman?

2006-12-14T05:02:00.000+08:00

i took this photo almost two years ago when i went to see a circus troupe perform near the osaka harbor. this was the support act for the actual show, which was inspired by buster keaton (the show itself was completely magical. imagine 50 japanese men and women dressed like buster keaton, looking exactly alike, performing for two hours wearing his famous stone face and not using words. they made rhythm patterns out of syllables and their bodies moved to this rhythm.)
this woman was wearing a traditional kimono, as you can see, but the music was very different and not-japanese. there was something remotely burlesque about her act, something of a different era, something completely charming. she played with so much heart. this photo really doesn't even show one bit of it.

later, me and my friend sat and watched the open air performance in the drizzling rain. ships were passing in the horizon of the stage. we were wet and cold but we didn't mind a bit. it was pure magic.

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cat power live

2006-11-24T18:20:00.000+08:00

check out cat power in concert, presenting her new record - "the greatest".
i daresay she is.

thanks to npr.

"Marshall has a reputation for giving sometimes unpredictable live performances. But her current tour is the best-reviewed of her career."

audio

2006-11-23T06:13:00.000+08:00

after an unsuccessful attempt to stream audio from this blog, i'm happy to announce my new podcast is out. their stream works perfectly well. ;)

also, an apartment in my building blew up, but that's long story.

test

2006-11-20T06:37:00.000+08:00

i've been meaning to turn this thing into a pseudo audioblog for quite a while now. thanks to my friend ralitza, it finally worked out.

i'll test things out with the cute little track "dot" by the canadian ex hip hop and electro artist gonzales. now he plays the piano. quite a transition, hey?

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dan savage podcast

2006-11-16T04:41:00.000+08:00

my favorite media personality, the sex advice columnist dan savage, has a spanking new podcast! well, maybe not so new. there are four issues of it out there already.

he sounds as cute and bratty as i expected. he's damn smart, too. i love this guy. go check him out.

preparations for winter

2006-11-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

november came and sofia froze solid with the kind of cold that makes your face twitch. i love all seasons but i have to admit i'm a winter kind of girl and i can't wait to experience real winter again -- with icicles and the snow crackling under my feet. kyoto winter was just snowless and the bitchin' cold in my house had almost killed my love for winter and cold in general.

despite the cold, i've been spending quite a lot of money on t-shirts lately, namely because for some reason there are cooler t-shirts in the stores of sofia than jackets or coats.
but as i was having a smoke and a nightcap with my mom last night, she suddenly remembered that she had the coolest leather jacket stored away in the bottom of the dresser. my grandma's leather jacket that my grandpa bought for her from istanbul in 1970. that's right, it is 36 years old but that makes it all the more precious. the jacket is beautifully preserved and it fits my vintage hipster wannabe look. my grandpa was a man with taste and my grandma was a tiny, skinny woman which i am not, but luckily the jacket is big enough for me to fit in.

so, i'm ready for winter -- dark mornings and short days, snow, dark beer, red wine, cinnamon lattes, skiing, and extra sensitivity to music.

the photo is of my friend yana changing shoes before me, her, and bobby went on a small hike on the what i believe was the last warm and sunny weekend for a long time to come.

menomena -- e. is stable

purple rain

2006-10-14T02:52:00.000+09:00

I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
I only wanted to one time see you laughing
I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain

Purple rain Purple rain
Purple rain Purple rain
Purple rain Purple rain

I only wanted to see you bathing in the purple rain

I never wanted to be your weekend lover
I only wanted to be some kind of friend
Baby I could never steal you from another
It's such a shame our friendship had to end

Purple rain Purple rain
Purple rain Purple rain
Purple rain Purple rain

I only wanted to see you underneath the purple rain

Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing
It's time we all reach out for something new
That means you too
You say you want a leader
But you can't seem to make up your mind
I think you better close it
And let me guide you to the purple rain

Purple rain Purple rain
Purple rain Purple rain

If you know what I'm singing about up here
C'mon raise your hand

Purple rain Purple rain

I only want to see you, only want to see you
In the purple rain

purple rain -- covered by tori amos

the crane wife

2006-10-06T06:18:00.000+09:00

it's past my bedtime, but i'm up stitching up my next podcast, i've had a bit to drink, and even if i'm sleepy, i don't want to go to bed yet. damn, too many of my posts prove that i always feel guilty for staying up.

whatever.

i'm listening to the new decemberists album, more precisely to the song "the crane wife 1 & 2". the whole album was inspired by a japanese folktale called, duh, "the crane wife". it's about this guy who was poor and lonely and living in the forest. he was completely desperate. one day he went out of his house and found a wounded crane at his doorstep. whether on not the crane was pierced through by an arrow is dubious. but he found the skinny injured crane and decided to take it home and take care of it. a while after that, when the crane healed, he decided to let it go and fly away where it belongs. but the crane came back. in the shape of a beautiful woman. who fell in love and married the miserable guy. but no, there's no happy end. read on. so they got married and were happy for a few days, and then the guy remembered how poor he was. he shared his torments with his wife and she offered him the following deal:
she'd weave silk clothes for them to sell but under one condition. he should never, under any circumstances, see her doing it. he agreed. and then she started weaving and he started selling the clothes. driven by his greed he asked her to weave more and more clothes, completely oblivious to her deteriorating health. one day, he even decided to peak in and see how the hell she's doing all this. he opened the door and saw an ill-looking crane plucking off the last of its beautiful feathers...the crane saw him and flew away never to come back.

beautiful story, hey?

the album is poppy but pretty. i have a soft spot for the decemberists, so i forgive them the duet with laura veirs, whom i wouldn't mind if she'd kept to herself.

goodnight, internet. i'm going to bed.

shameless self-advertisement

2006-08-31T02:00:00.000+09:00

okay.

so the guys at http://dot.cult.bg/notitle accepted me in their team of podcasters and now i get to do a podcast periodically, around once every six weeks. wooooohooo!

i'm quite excited about it.

my show is and will remain focused on unpopular pop and rock music.

here, give it a listen:

a jerk's dream come true or how to legally terrorize people with the music you like

triple r subscription dilemma

2006-08-19T19:56:00.000+09:00

i know i haven't posted here for a long time, but i just don't feel like giving a detailed explanation. i relocated. i went back home. that's it.

something funny happened right now, and i'd like to hear your opinion about it.

triple r is my favorite radio station. it's an independent radio station from melbourne, australia. they count only on donations(subscriptions)from listeners to keep going. so i thought it'd be a great idea if i could do something for them, having in mind that i listen to them quite often.

i just called them and the woman who took my call was very nice to me. there was one thing, though, i could pay only by credit card or bank card. when i asked whether i could pay by bank transfer, she had to ask the people around her if that's possible.
and here's the thing. when she told them i was from bulgaria, someone started laughing. i'm not quite sure that's the surprised reaction of someone. smile, yes. laughing about it for 2 minutes? i don't think so.

so, my question is: am i victimizing myself for being discriminated against as an eastern european or was that person just really surprised? whattaya think?

i have one month left to transfer the money (there is a way, it turned out). but i'd like to know if the people i'm helping are really that open minded as they say the are.

that leaving feeling

2006-06-21T00:05:00.000+09:00

http://cissme.com/bgroup/rm/beggars/stuar/video/thatleavingfeeling_rvh.ram

))<>(( forever.

2006-02-18T00:49:00.000+08:00

last sunday i saw a very good movie. it's the best i've seen in a long, long while.

a simple, unpretentious, unsweetened, yet fabulously charming and deep film about life. not too dramatic, not hilariously funny. just perfect. this is what movies should be like.

i think i'm in love with miranda july.

do watch the movie if you find the time. it's worth it.

miranda july -- when i call a name:

she: if you really love me, let's make a vow.
right here, together, right now. okay?

he: okay

she: alright, repeat after me. i'm gonna be free.

he: i'm gonna be free.

she: and i'm gonna be brave.

he: i'm gonna be brave.

she: good. i'm gonna live each day as if it were my last.

he: oh, that's good.

she: you like that?

he: yeah

she: say it.

he: i'm gonna live each day as if it were my last.

she: fantastically.

he: fantastically.

she: courageously.

he: courageously.

she: with grace.

he: with grace.

she: and in the dark of the night...

he: and it does get dark.

she: when i call a name

he: when i call a name

she: it'll be your name... what's your name?

he: nevermind.

she: let's go. say it.

he: let's go.

she: everywhere.

he: everyhere.

she: even though

he: even though

she: we're scared.

he: we're scared.

she: cause it's life.

he: it's life.

she: and it's happening. it's really really happening, right now...

Sleater Kinney -- The Woods

2006-02-03T02:47:00.000+08:00

so again i'm up in the middle of the night. sleep is fucking with me. no sleep tonight, or very little. we'll see. whatever.

it's been a while since i've talked about music. not that i ever really wrote about it here.
i've been in a dull music coma the past week, unwillingly faltering between a couple of songs that if i couldn't enjoy, at least could tolerate. but they wouldn't make me feel electrified, provoke goosebumps, or simply make me happy for three minutes. just no. i wanted something more -- more exciting, more satisfying, something better. and nothing was good enough.

well. i just found it. Sleater Kinney's "The Woods". it's not exactly new anymore.
but i am completely entranced, ladies and gentlemen.

it's funny, because this album's been collecting dust on my cd pile for a good few months and i never gave it a chance. back then i guess i was in the mood for something cheesier and thought "oh, the new sleater kinney's too heavy." yeah, well. i can be a deluded moron sometimes.

it is heavier than their previous records, sure. and it's fucking brilliant.
the lyrics are deep and meaningful; carrie and corin's voices complement each other to absolute perfection; the guitars are thumpy and full of life almost with a touch of hendrix; janet's drums bash their way into the songs with so much power and elegance at the same time... to make this whole album just mindblowing. i'm beyond words.

seriously, it's the best alternative/indie album i've heard in a long time.
fuck sleep. i'm in love.

p.s. so tell me, what music did you fall in love with recently?

sleater kinney -- jumpers

lomo fisheye update

2006-01-30T22:14:00.001+08:00

yo, blogspot. i still haven't learned how to caption right, so you'll have to bear with me. at least this time i used my film the right way, ha.

1. a late fall afternoon view of kamogawa, the river that splits kyoto in two. the small dots on the right along the bank are couples. ah, ever so romantic! makes me a tad nauseous.

2. crossing sanjo bridge.

3. momiji. thourgh a fisheye. the hell with focus! it's a lomo!

4. me and my dear firend shino yesterday morning in front of the kyoto gallery of contemporary arts. quite a suicidal shot, considering all the traffic. i think we got it right the fourth time, right before a bus ran us over. we had to run for our lives right after the "click". the red gate is the tallest in japan, if im not wrong, and it is the entrance to the tiny (only on the photo) heian shrine.

5. shino looking half as tall as the gate :) a safer angle.

6. my favorite shot.

shino is the best model.

micatone -- d-d-d-d-dance.mp3

absolut sofia

2006-01-19T23:03:00.000+08:00

a friend showed me this today. such an honest photo.

broken social scene -- shampoo suicide

Чара

2006-01-17T00:31:00.000+08:00

Чара - най-прекрасното куче по света и околностите
(12. 04. 1993 -- 17. 01. 2006)

сбогом, мъничката ми. обичам те.

...

тя обичаше плодово кисело мляко, както и бяло сирене, наред с вареното пиле. кучешките мажди не щеше да ги погледне дори. и сладолед обичаше.
обичаше да тича в снега и да гони снежни топки и пръчки. пръчките никога не ги носеше обратно. обичаше да си ги гризе с кеф докато станат на трески. тогава ми хвърляше победоносен поглед и чакаше да и метна нова пръчка за гонене и за унищожаване. обичаше да ходи по пухени завивки като в облак и после да се сгуши в краката на който и да е от семейството.
обичаше да ходи по слънчевите лъчи, промъкващи се през пердетата и винаги го правеше с особено внимание. адски бавно и съсредоточено и с блажено изражение. винаги съм и се чудела защо го прави, но сега смятам и аз да пробвам.
Чарка познаваше звукът от мотора на всяка кола, която сме имали. винаги наостряше уши и се качваше на стола до прозореца, за да посрещне майка ми или сестра ми. като някоя от нас беше тъжна, идваше и ни близваше по ръката и гледаше притеснено.
обичаше да се вози в кола. тя беше винаги в скута ми, най-надежден навигатор. морета, планини...обиколила е България тази дакелка. обичаше да си пийне студена вода и да се излегне под една масичка на "Варната", след като бяхме достигнали победоносно Варвара към залез слънце. плуваше добре, но не и беше любимият спорт. предпочиташе да гони пеперуди.

Чаричка обичаше всички тези и много други неща и беше щастливо и безумно обичано куче.

shivaree -- i will go quietly

life on mars?

2006-01-15T02:49:00.000+08:00

Seu Jorge -- Life on Mars

Quantas coisas do coração
Não conseguem compreender
O que mente não faz questão
E nem tem forças pra obedecer
Quantos sonhos já destrui
E deixei escapar das mãos
Se o futuro assim permitir
Não pretendo viver em vão

Meu amor não estamos sós
Tem um mundo a esperar por nós
No infinito do céu azul
Pode ter vida em Marte

Então, vem cá me dá a sua lingua
Então vem, eu quero abraçar você
Teu poder vem do sol
Minha medida
Então vem, vamos viver a vida
Então vem, senão eu vou perder quem sou
Vou querer me mudar para uma life on mars

Quantas coisas do coração
Não conseguem compreender
Porque a mente não faz questão
Nem tem forças pra obedecer
Quantos sonhos já destrui
E deixei escapar das mãos
Se o futuro assim permitir
Não pretendo viver em vão

Meu amor, não estamos sós
Tem um mundo a esperar por nós
No infinito do céu azul
Pode ter vida em Marte

Então, vem cá me dá a sua lingua
Então vem, senão eu vou perder quem sou
Seu poder vem do sol
Minha medida
Então vem, vamos viver a vida
Meu bem, senão eu vou perder quem sou
Vou querer me mudar para uma life on mars

the song and the photo are completely unrelated in real life. but tonight it seemed to me that they fit well, albeit out of context. thanks to gal for the beautiful song.

a little inspiration

2005-12-27T14:29:00.000+08:00

i was chatting with my online pal Sasho Kartchinski (sorry, his blog is mostly in bulgarian) on this grey and cold wednesday morning for me, and what i imagine a dark and cold tuesday night for him, and a wonderful idea was born.
to better introduce it, though, i guess i need to say a few words about him and about me.
Sasho loves music, and i imagine he could be referred to with Tori Amos's words as an "ears with feet" being. (Sasho, correct me if my impression is wrong). Sasho also loves his camera and taking photos with it. he's damn good, too. you can see for yourself on his blog.
so he said to me today he would like to be introduced to new music, which is where i come in the picture. i, most of you know, am a total music glutton and slut. some might argue about whether i have good taste in music or not, due to the many different styles i like. but i'm alright with my musical promiscuity and i ain't changing. i love music. one of my dreams is to have my own radio show, narrowed down to my favorite unpopular pop music. i have no idea if that will ever happen, but me and Sasho made a deal today:

every week i introduce him to a couple of different and obscure artists he doesn't know with 5 songs, and he sends me 5 photos in return. i'm hoping for captions as well, cause he's a damn fine writer, too.

today was the pilot edition of our weird multimedia pseudo show. he still needs to take the photos and send them to me, and i am waiting patiently. if it's ok with him, i'll post chosen photos on my blog.
here's the playlist i concocted for him. the last two songs are a christmas bonus. :)

1. iron & wine and calexico -- burn that broken bed
2. iron & wine -- in my lady's house
3. jose gonzalez -- crosses
4. emiliana torrini -- tuna fish
5. emiliana torrini -- nothing brings me down
6. cat power -- willie
7. cat power -- love & communication

cat power -- willie

"if one thing matters, everything matters"

2005-12-23T20:30:00.000+08:00

wolfgang tillmans

self-pity and bitching

2005-11-29T12:30:00.000+08:00

obviously, my landlady has cleverly thought of a new way to torment me. she still hasn't started liking me, and she's still rather creative, after all these 4.5 years i've paid her rent. so the new trick is showing up at the door with no notice at all. just like that. and today she also brought a real estate agent along. he was walking around the house taking notes in his little clipboard thing. i had no choice but to get up, and scramble to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. it made me snicker, though, that the house was a mess. i rather enjoyed the mildly shocked look on his face. and not that i'm craving for my wench of a landlady's attention, but they acted as if i wasn't there. WHAT THE HELL? i'm still living here damn it. my contract has about a year to go and i will stay until the very end, if i want to! but now i have to fear what she's plotting.
minutes later, forcing myself to enjoy my cup of coffee and a cigarette, i seriously thought about researching voodoo practices. if you can give me any advice, please contact me immediately. i will love you forever.

it's a beautiful autumn day outside and i have to stay at home waiting for the oil delivery guy. ugh. god knows if he'll find my house. it's not even on the map! one more reason to hate my landlady. with a passion.

here's something that made me feel a little less invisible today. it's a text message i got from a student of mine while we were discussing the time of our lesson today. sometimes i love bad english.

"I'm looking foward to you☆ "

rachael yamagata -- be be your love

p.s. sara was right. death cab for cutie's new album is pretty good. in fact, i think i like it better than transatlanticism. but then again, that could be because i listened to it until my ears bled. i have a secret to share, however. no matter how much i like their music, the singer's voice still annoys me sometimes. does that make me a horrible person?

p.p.s. i just came across this blog, and i find it highly entertaining.

"colors...they always get away with attitude..."

2005-11-25T21:14:00.000+08:00

this has been my song of today, and i suspect, is going to be my song of december.

feist is incredible.

feist -- when the month changes numbers

through a fish's eye

2005-11-24T16:18:00.000+08:00

*drumroll* tada! these are the only half-decent photos that came out of my first fisheye lomo experiment which was spread over two rolls of very good film. fuji natura 1600, and agfa ultra color 100. what a waste!
3 of these 4 photos are from the fuji film, because i am an idiot and insist on trying to see what'll happen if i use 100 asa film in the absence of light. i think i'll go do some lines now -- "use 100 film only in bright weather! use 100 film only in bright weather!..."

done. maybe i should write some captions if only i could figure out how not to delete the photos when attempting to arrange them here. i'll do it the foolproof way yet again, just in case.

1. a trashcan at a train station decided to pose cutely for me.

2. dorky portrait of self. i wonder where my glasses are.

3. a cute couple in "subway", osaka.they were kind enough to let me photograph them. i could have done better...anyway. "subway", the only decent fast-food available in japan, i heart you.

4. a back street in kyoto. i took the photo in a hurry, to finish the film before getting it developed, and it turned out to be my favorite in the whole roll.

on another note, i think i'm developing a fondness for scandinavian music. did you know jose gonzalez was swedish?

jose gonzalez -- crosses

boring blogs, digital cameras, lomos, and funk

2005-11-22T13:48:00.000+08:00

so i've been missing again. yeah. i've abandoned my dear diary one more time. the truth is that much to my regret i'm not the writer i'd like to be and inspiration for this kind of thing hits me extremely rarely. like, for example, on a tuesday afternoon when my room is clean, bills are paid, and there's nothing urgent to do. tuesday's sort of my day off, i only have one hour of work.

someone left a comment saying that girl's blogs are boring. now, i suspect he was referring to mine, in which case i would nobly accept his comment. i don't find my blog fascinating either. but i don't think it's safe to conclude all girl blogs are boring. so watch your mouth, mister! mhm.

being the retro geek that i am, i decided i do not want a digital camera. a lot of the feeling gets lost in deleting, it's so much sweeter to have the prints to remind you of how you fucked up. also, i like to tell myself that the fact that i have limited resources (that'd be film and money), will make me actually think of what i'm doing with my camera. hopefully, that will make me improve my skills.
so all my savings for a digital camera will go to buy me a better and bigger lens for my sweet old pentax slr.
and for extra fun, i'll be shooting with my two sweet lomos. i got a supersampler for my birthday this summer, and just the other day i got a fisheye. hurrah! these things are hella fun, i tell you. i 've been playing with the fisheye non-stop since i got it, so expect some photos soon. really. i've sworn to myself i'll get them developed by the end of the week.

by the way, that thing on top is a photo taken with the supersampler in late august, or something, at lake biwa. i'm still struggling with arranging the photos properly in this blog.

p.s. on sunday night i went to see jamiroquai in osaka. it was a shame no cameras were allowed, but that allowed me to dance and jump freely all i want. the man is a beast! he's so tiny, but so full of energy...it's mind blowing. apart from being freakishly talented, he's also damn charming. and the way he moves...mmm...

jamiroquai -- love foolosophy

in an empty state

2005-10-28T23:23:00.000+09:00

here i go again, feeling in a state of complete vacuum and emptiness. i hate it when i get like that. there's a bunch of interesting and fun things i could do, but no, the only thing i seem to be able to do right now is to listen to an israeli student radio station which plays nice, well-chosen tracks, and has girl hosts who whisper with sexy voices between every few songs in an incomprehensible to me, but nevertheless pretty language.

and to think that i could listen to the radio while:

-writing a letter to accompany the cinnamon basil seeds i need to send my friend
-completing my scribblings in a certain journal and finally sending it to another friend
-studying kanji (it's nice exercise, and a fun thing to do)
-studying hebrew (which i seem to have neglected the past few years, but it's still something i want to do)
-washing the three mugs and 2 plates in the sink
-finishing the article on cirque du soleil and thinking up questions to ask my acquaintance Esa in december
-doing some more research on iceland (regardless of when i will actually need it)

and on and on. and still, here i am, spinning around slowly in the vacuum i've created around me. on days like this, i try to kick myself into living the colorful life i want to live.

and so, i will. i'm going on a trip to japan sea this weekend. alone, with my discman and my camera. i'll post about it when i get back, and hopefully i'll have a few good photos to show.

now shower, bed, and colorful dreams.

cat power -- fool

what's on?

2005-10-22T18:41:00.000+09:00

sara, you know i like this stuff. thanks.

THE RULES: List five songs that you are currently loving. It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now.

Post these instructions, the artists, and the songs in your blog. Then tag five other friends to see what they're listening to.

my top 5:

1. emiliana torrini -- sunny road
2. emiliana torrini -- lifesaver
3. emiliana torrini -- fisherman's woman
4. emiliana torrini -- at least it was
5. madeleine peyroux -- i'll look around

p.s. i won't tag anyone, but please do share in a comment.

sunny road

2005-10-22T02:12:00.000+09:00

Emiliana Torrini -- Sunny Road

Wrote you this
I hope you got it safe
It's been so long
I don't know what to say
I've travelled 'round
Through deserts on my horse
But jokes aside
I wanna come back home
You know that night
I said i had to go
You said you'd meet me
On the sunny road

It's time, meet me on the sunny road
it's time, meet me on the sunny road

I never married
Never had those kids
I loved too many
Now heaven's closed its gates.
I know I'm bad
To jump on you like this
Some things don't change
My middle name's still 'Risk'
I know that night
So long long time ago
Will you still meet me
On the sunny road

It's time, meet me on the sunny road
It's time, meet me on the sunny road

Well, this is it
I'm running out of space
Here is my address
And number just in case.
This time as one
We'll find which way to go
Now come and meet me
On the sunny road

god is a dj

2005-10-12T17:45:00.000+09:00

so maybe god is a dj, after all, and faithless were right. his job sure isn't easy.

"i just found a new aim in life..."

2005-10-08T02:51:00.000+09:00

i know this is an inane post, but i am so happy i could scream! i can't wait for this to come out!

release date: 25. 10. 2005

excerpt from the naked music site (where there is some ear candy available): "..."cherry" is probably the most highly anticipated naked music release ever." sure, i for one am enough to count on.

p.s. news kindly provided by cut, на която почвам да строя паметник утре рано сутринта! ура!

on staying up

2005-10-06T03:14:00.000+09:00

do you remember those times when we were little and wanted to stay up desperately, for one reason or another (a movie we thought was fascinating but we were too young to watch, to play, but mostly to just hang out with the grown-ups which seemed such an interesting thing to do at the time) but we weren't allowed to? or were too sleepy to stay up?

i remember an evening, i must have been 5 or 6 and i was reading a book in the kitchen, listening to my parents have an ordinary conversation. nothing special, but i found it riveting at the time. but my body was giving up -- my eyes were closing, i was half asleep. my mom saw me and said "alright, let's get you to bed". then i opened my eyes wide and said i was wide awake. alas, my protests didn't get me anywhere but to my bed where i fell asleep as soon as my mom kissed me goodnight. it was so interesting, though. i really wanted to stay up.

why am i writing all this?

i'm supposed to wake up early tomorrow, and it's already 3.14 am. way past the desirable bedtime if you're getting up at 8am.
tonight there's no interesting conversation going on, nor a book to keep my attention (i finished a book last night and i have nothing on my list to read. any suggestions are welcome, by the way). interestingly, i am in the kitchen again. this time, my own. seems like it's my favorite room.
what's keeping me up this time is a song.

today i dug up a song i hadn't heard before. it's by my favorite band of all times -- Moloko. i thought i'd heard everything but gladly, i was wrong. Moloko's "Take My Hand" turned out to be a hidden gem that i'd overlooked among all the different stuff i listen to in my insatiable thirst for music.
i'm not sure i can find the right words to describe the beauty of this song -- the bass walking along elegantly, the pianos dripping like raindrops down the window, the trumpets and the ghostly backvocals lighting sparkles everywhere, the words making me dream and dream, and most of all roisin's voice...so powerful, and self-confident, yet so fragile, warm and feminine...this is liquid poetry. i don't know how else to describe it.

i've been listening to this song for probably five hours straight. and i don't care one bit about how my back aches, how my eyes are closing, and how nasty waking up in a few hours will be. i can stay up now and i'm not gonna miss the fun.

disaster prevention

2005-09-30T11:14:00.000+09:00

my landlady showed up this morning. she had to renew my contract. when we were done, she grabbed a saw and went outside and cut off all the trees in front of our house. she said they'd wreck the (brand new, huge, concrete) house of our neighbor.

now i have to wear sunglasses when i sit in my kitchen. and i'll have to ignore the tree stubs when i walk in and out of the house. one of them still has a martenitsa hanging on it. it looks so sad.

sometimes i can't help but think that the japanese overdo it.

depeche mode -- suffer well

шоколадови бонбони

2005-09-29T07:46:00.000+09:00

вчера имах последен урок с една група. така се налага. просто не мога да водя урока повече. иронично, това са ми едни от любимите ученици. явно и те са ме харесвали като учител (още ми е смешно-странно да се нарека така, въпреки че работя това от четири години), защото бяха много тъжни, когато им казах новината преди месец.
та, вчера всички бяхме малко омърлушени. и като за последен час, решихме да поучим само малко и после да излезнем да пием нещо заедно. отидохме, пийнахме, смяхме се и те ми казваха разни интересни неща като например как да си правя тофу сама като се върна в българия и колко лесно е въпросното начинание, да си занеса поне едно кимоно (!), кое суши най-лесно се прави при полеви условия; обсъждахме кой чужд език е "най-труден", те ми разказваха за младостта си (една от тях е още млада), на колко са се изнесли от вкъщи и какво ли още не. от тях разбрах и как се казва въпросната закачалка за кимоно, която така искам да сложа в бъдещото си жилище в софия. не че знам как ще я замъкна дотам.

в края на вечерта моите ученици ми поднесоха малък подарък -- миниатюрно букетче цветя (като тези дето ги продават бабите на графа и раковска, но много по-малко), както и кутия шоколадови бонбони. съвсем истински! което за япония е рядкост. незнайно защо тук има шоколад навсякъде, но не и бонбони. явно са кът. стана ми много мило и за момент се почувствах като заслужил български лекар или медицинска сестра, на който благодарен пациент е подарил нещо. кретенски аналог, но за това се сетих. може би е защото от малка помня как у съседката, която е медицинска сестра, винаги имаше тонове шоколадови бонбони.
оттам се замислих и за това как тук (или в щатите, според една приятелка)не е прието да благодариш на лекари с цветя, шоколад, или бутилка уиски (по стар български обичай). замислих се и за това колко са изтъркани тези подаръци и как винаги са едни и същи. замислих се и за това колко е хубав обичаят ни, все пак. не защото някой получава нещо(е, радвах се на бонбоните у леля катя), а защото някой показва благодарността си някак. по начин, който не е плащане и е в крайна сметка незначителен. ще се изяде, ще се изпие, ще увехне. харесва ми.

moloko -- the time is now

blog spam

2005-09-27T22:03:00.000+09:00

blog spamming is not news to any of you, either, i suppose, but here's an interesting piece of it i just got. ironically, i never got such spam by mail:

Anonymous said...

I definitely like your site, bookmarked!

I've got a penis pills related site. It covers penis pills related articles.

Drop by when you can.

9:55 PM

well, thank you!
word veryfication turned on.

google talk

2005-09-27T21:44:00.000+09:00

so google came up with an IM service. i have no idea when that happened, but i found out today. i downloaded it reluctantly, considering the 4 other forms of messengers i have. not too surprisingly though, it turned out to be very light, quick, and easy to use. it has no ugly emoticons and the design is simple, as it should be. it even has a talk option, and apparently the quality is skypelike, even better. i love you google, let's get married!

i guess now all i have to do is to subtly make all my friends with gmail get it. to all the rest, i'd generously offer classy gmail invites. haha.

03 - San Francisco Sessions V4 -- Latrice Barnett - Make My Heart.mp3

music

2005-09-27T13:03:00.000+09:00

as promised, here's an update on what's been on my precious headphones the past month or two. and what on what i'm expecting to hear soon. styles vary, as do impressions. yes, you may call me an audiowhore and you'd be right.

just music section:

tracy chapman's latest studio release, "where you live".

i think this is her 7th studio album. although her music doesn't do for me what it used to do when i was 15, and i almost never listen to her nowadays, i still think it's a good try. her voice is soothing and velvety as always, but what is striking in this album are the gorgeously detailed yet simplistic instrumentals. flea on the bass, by the way. for me, the outstanding tracks are "3000 miles" and "never yours".
no hints of country, gladly. just pure old tracy, although it doesn't reach "crossroads" or "new beginning". a good album for indulging in melancholy and nostalgia over the lost teens.

fiona apple's "extraordinary machine":

i guess we'll never know what exactly happened behind this record, but sony has decided to release "extraordinary machine" on october 4. some of the new tracks have been released on fiona's revamped official site. it's interesting to hear new versions of the EM tracks most of us know already. i find them a little more glossy, but not in a bad way. also, there's a new track called "parting gift" which i find brilliant. fiona at her best --sexy, quirky, unexpected, chaotic, yet making sense. i can't say i'm not excited.

antony and the johnsons' "i am a bird now":

there's some music which you just cannot describe. when my friend kim told me about them, i asked what music they made. she wondered and then said, "absolutely gay" and had a grin on her face.
having heard the music, i still can't put it in a certain style box. it is gay, in a sense that antony's voice and lyrics obliterate any sense of gender. it goes from masculine to feminine in the frame of one song. and his voice bears a stunning resemblance to nina simone's.
the music is dramatic, exquisite, a bit theatrical, soulful, tragically sad, unusual, and most of all, beyond beautiful.

*shifting gears for a second*

house music:

kaskade's "house of om" vol.2:

lately i've been stuck on kaskade. his two previous records "it's you, it's me", and "in the moment" show his talent as a songwriter. this one shows his talent as a dj. "house of om" vol.2 compiled and mixed by kaskade is a deep, soulful house album that makes me want to dance -- and i do, in my mind, mostly, for lack of clubs around here that would play this kind of music. it makes me daydream and grin even if i'm just listening to it on my headphones on my way to work or sitting on my desk.
sexy, intelligent, well-mixed music.
lovely. i want more.

speaking of which, "house of om" vol.3 has been released yesterday, as well as miguel migs' "get salted". i'm sure these two are albums to be looking out for. can't wait.

current song: (11) [late night alumni] i knew you when (kaskade's mix).mp3

из разговор за вкъщи

2005-09-23T03:17:00.000+09:00

"...cuttie: не е розово
cuttie: но има хубави отблясъци
..."

п.с. хубавата снимка няма пряка връзка с текста. тя се появи малко след казаното. с благодарности я взех от тук.

chaotic update

2005-09-21T05:05:00.000+09:00

i try not to do this, but today i'll indulge myself in blabbing about my own little life.

topic# 1 or "why i haven't written and just what the hell is going on with me"

i've had a rough summer. i won't go into details, i'll just say i've had a lot of shit to sort out. with friends, supposed significant others, family, school.
seems like everything needed a serious face-lift or a paintover. is paintover even a word in english?
i guess now you could say i'm standing in the middle of the room that is my life, brush in hand, looking at the work i've done so far. i've painted about one third of the room, and it's already started looking brighter and fresher. better. sometimes my back aches and i need a little break, but then i get back to it. sometimes it gets a little lonely being alone in an empty room that's not quite yet renovated, but it's ok. i know that when it's ready, someone will come visit and we'll have a good time.

topic #2 or "why do i blog in english"

why really? sometimes i feel pretty dumb for posting in a language that's not my own. sometimes there's things i can't say in english, only in bulgarian. sometimes i feel like a moron foreigner-wannabe for writing in english.
but if i post in bulgarian the majority of my blog's audience ( i suppose 3 out of 5 people) wouldn't get what i'm talking about.
the hell with it...i'll write in whatever language i feel like at the moment.

topic #3 or "music"

there's been several things on my playlist lately. and i guess they would fall respectively into two categories -- "just music" (which of course is never just music) and "house music".
the first one i call "just music" but i'd like to say that i am not using the word "just" in a deprecating sense. more like the "pure" sense of the word. i could say "general" music, but that sounds rather sterile to me. i can't call it "pop music" either, for the dirty meaning this word has nowadays.
and i just don't know how to encompass all the styles in it, so there. "just music".

the other category is "house music", which, i have discovered, is the only kind of music that can lift me off the ground and pump me up with life.

i was planning on sharing some musical news and impressions, but i suppose i'll leave it for later on today. it's 5am and i need a bit of sleep.

i have to paint tomorrow.

kaskade -- everything (big room mix)

fun blog trash

2005-09-09T12:09:00.000+09:00

my friend sara found a cheap way to make me update my blog. here we go!

Three Names You Go By
1. kristina
2. nikolova (only at school)
3. kris (sometimes krissy -- only at home. and i feel 5 years old whenever people call me that)

Three Parts of Your Heritage
1. bulgarian (whatever that includes)
2. yugoslav
3.

Three Things That Scare You
1. hospitals
2. heights
3. the music that the new producer of fiona apple's Extraordinary Machine has done so far

Three of Your Everyday Essentials
1. a book
2. music
3. cigarettes (i know i'm stupid)

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. red & black flip flops
2. white karate drawstring pants
3. white levi's t-shirt

Three of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists -at the moment
1. built to spill
2. tori amos (a passion resurrecting)
3. u2 (sometimes i can be slow discovering a band)

Three of Your Favorite Songs - at the moment
1. built to spill -- car
2. fiona apple -- parting gift
3. tori amos -- cruel

Three Things You Want in a Relationship
1. freedom to breathe
2. the ability to be me completely (thanks, sara)
3. the ability to share

Two Truths and a Lie (but not in that order)
1. the color of my eyes can change from green to blue
2. i had a crush on todor zhivkov when i was 5
3. i am a trouble sleeper and often i go 24 hours without sleep

Three Physical Things about the Opposite/Same Sex that Appeal to You
1. the eyes and the way they look at people/things
2. hands
3. voice

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. making mix cds
2. taking lame-ass photos
3. people watching

Three Things You want to do really badly right now
1. be decorating my new own place back home
2. get another cup of coffee. but good coffee, not the instant kind that's the only kind left at my place right now
3. swim

Three Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. venice
2. prague
3. new haven

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. fall in love and see what it feels like
2. photograph sofia through the years
3. have my own radio show

Three People You Want to Fill This Out:
1. my sister
2. shino
3. yana

videos

2005-08-01T02:21:00.000+09:00

recently i saw two videos, entirely unconnected with one another, and they both gave me goosebumps and made me want to cry. in a good way.
both of them were mentioned by friends (i knew someone'd take care of me in my tv-lessness).

the first one is the video to "first day of my life", a song by the american indie band bright eyes .
directed by john cameron mitchell, the creator of "hedwig and the angry inch", this video is incredibly (and beautifully) simplistic. it shows couples, most of which looked happy, one or two families, and some single people sitting on a red couch listening to the song and reacting to it.

at times, i found it ridiculously romantic. and that's not a bad thing.

the second one is the video to the new faithless song "why go". again, rather simple and beautiful. i am not yet sure of how to interpret it, but i find something incredibly pretty in the metaphor of "dancing through life".

enjoy. i hope these videos made you smile too.

inspiration #2

2005-07-31T09:49:00.000+09:00

silvio rodriguez -- ojala

2005-07-31T02:20:00.000+09:00

i never really thought i'd mean these lyrics when i listened to them. now i do.

Ojalá que las hojas no te toquen el cuerpo cuando caigan
para que no las puedas convertir en cristal.
Ojalá que la lluvia deje de ser milagro que baja por tu cuerpo.
Ojalá que la luna pueda salir sin ti.
Ojalá que la tierra no te bese los pasos.

Ojalá se te acabe la mirada constante,
la palabra precisa, la sonrisa perfecta.
Ojalá pase algo que te borre de pronto:
una luz cegadora, un disparo de nieve.
Ojalá por lo menos que me lleve la muerte,
para no verte tanto, para no verte siempre
en todos los segundos, en todas las visiones:
ojalá que no pueda tocarte ni en canciones

Ojalá que la aurora no de gritos que caigan en mi espalda.
Ojalá que tu nombre se le olvide a esa voz.
Ojalá las paredes no retengan tu ruido de camino cansado.
Ojalá que el deseo se vaya tras de ti,
a tu viejo gobierno de difuntos y flores.

Ojalá se te acabe la mirada constante,
la palabra precisa, la sonrisa perfecta.
Ojalá pase algo que te borre de pronto:
una luz cegadora, un disparo de nieve.
Ojalá por lo menos que me lleve la muerte,
para no verte tanto, para no verte siempre
en todos los segundos, en todas las visiones:
ojalá que no pueda tocarte ni en canciones

Ojalá pase algo que te borre de pronto:
una luz cegadora, un disparo de nieve.
Ojalá por lo menos que me lleve la muerte,
para no verte tanto, para no verte siempre
en todos los segundos, en todas las visiones:
ojalá que no pueda tocarte ni en canciones

no name #3

2005-07-30T22:00:00.000+09:00

house music can be one of the most uplifting things sometimes.

01-roger_sanchez_feat._gto-turn_on_the_music_rogers_12_mix-pulse.mp3

thanks, vanilla. :)

before sunrise

2005-07-30T04:25:00.000+09:00

it's 4.25am and it's about to dawn here. it's still dark though, and everyone's sound asleep. i can hear someone in the neighboring building snoring if i take off my headphones.
i couldn't really sleep, though i tried, so here i am, sitting on the floor in a yellow t shirt and pink underpants, listening to music and waiting for the sunlight to start seeping through my bamboo shades.
i am smoking an indonesian cigarette. it is filterless and strong. it tastes like cinammon and clove and it makes crackling sounds from time to time. i like it. it burns really slow and its smoke crawls up the ceiling in thick, heavy curls. this moment seems endless.

can't wait to go swimming tomorrow.

bright eyes -- we are nowhere and it's now

за Е.

2005-07-29T06:49:00.000+09:00

БЛУС 3

(Елин Рахнев)

Тя се качва към къщата,
ходила е да пазарува. В мрежата има праскови,
спанак и ядки. Вгледала се е в стълбите и се
качва полека. Сенките под очите й са гъсти
и квадратни. В дъното на очите й има още
някакви работи.

Някъде през октомври стоим двамата,
масата е кипнала от бутилки вино. Танцуваме
в тебеширената стая. Пуснали сме си някаква плоча.
Тя пее, танцува и пие почти едновременно.
Сребристите й движения се катерят по стените.
Аз малко се срамувам.

Сутрин тя отива на работа. Качва се в един прозрачен
тролей. Вътре мирише на бира и лавандула. Аз после
отварям гардероба й. Гардеробът е пълен с импресии.
Роклите й се полюшват. Имат си очи и рамене. Понякога
треперят, все едно е студено. Аз се замислям за
нея. Тя танцува в прозрачния тролей.

У дома има два-три паяка. Тя винаги ги гали по
муцуните. Стъгно й е. След това се поглежда в огледалото,
остава в него няколко минути. Понякога, докато стои така,
си мисля най-различни работи. Цялата се сгъстява. После
си слага друга рокля на квадратчета и зелени портокали.
Тази вечер е щастлива, но малко.

Някакъв дъжд ни валя в Несебър. Аз я целувам по рамото.
Тя влезе отсреща в книжарницата и си купи Езра Паунд.
Докато я гледах как отива към книжарницата, се разцепих.
Когато излезе, от косите й падаха цветни вадички. После,
двамата продължихме нататък - някаква барманка много
ни се зарадва и ни почерпи бира.

Един път я снимах вкаменена до едно дърво. Отстрани по
пейките седяха старци и четяха вестници. Отгоре пъшкаха
облаците. Тя обаче се беше изправила на пръсти. Аз се
притесних и не можах да я снимам добре. Тя се подхлъзна
в себе си и се разплака. Тогава я ревнувах за първи път.
Някакви деца излетяха край нас, качени на скейтбордове.

Тя сега се качва към къщата,
ходила е да пазарува. В мрежата има праскови,
спанак и ядки. Вгледала се е в стълбите и се качва
полека. Сега ще отключи вратата, докато си говори със
съседката. Аз я чакам вече няколко минути и докато я
чакам, си мисля как се качва по стълбите.

музика: Tord Gustavsen Trio - 13 - Song Of Yearning (solo).mp3

some inspiration

2005-07-29T05:18:00.000+09:00

09 - Tomoyasu Hotei - Battle Without Honour.mp3

no name #2

2005-07-25T00:10:00.000+09:00

this here was written casually as a response to a livejournal entry by my friend sara. it made me wonder if really "a picture is worth a thousand words".
right now, it seems completely the other way around. and i love it. beautiful, unpretentious, elegant.

thanks for the trip to new haven, sara!

what a feeling (make it happen)

2005-07-22T00:08:00.000+09:00

so i went out and did it. yesterday i had my first real dj experience.

i had very little idea of what i was actually doing, and i was scared to death, but it went smooth. it's a magical thing to play the music you like and to see people dancing to it and enjoying it.

i feel so alive.

i want to do it again and again.

thanks to all my groupies, hehe, and to the guys at club metro who trusted me.

let's hope there'll be a next time! yay!

richard_grey_pres_gate_54-what_a_feeling_(make_it_happen_antoine_clamaran_rmx).mp3

the phantom mAnace

2005-07-18T23:14:00.000+09:00

това ми попадна току-що. даде ми линк една приятелка. много се смях. представяте ли си как някой го е писал това на машина и е подчертавал злостно?

from sofia with love

2005-07-18T05:06:00.000+09:00

this is brilliant.

antoni raijekov's site.

modern origami

2005-07-17T21:02:00.000+09:00

cochae is a group of three young japanese people who fuse photography and art with origami. they take pictures or collages found in magazines, for example, and fold them up into funky shapes.
i saw their little exhibit the other day and i found it interesting.

rather narcissistic

2005-07-17T01:32:00.000+09:00

my good friends give me their digital cameras so i can take photos of the amazing surroundings with them, and what do i do? i take pictures of my own self.
i know i am not the amazing surroundings.
but i like this picture, and i don't care.

i love rain

2005-07-04T02:10:00.000+09:00

it's been raining for three days straight and i love it.

me and my friend just went out to buy cigarettes in the pouring rain and we forgot our umbrellas and raincoats on purpose. we didn't even wear shoes. and then we walked, jumped into puddles and got soaking wet. we did not give a damn and it was wonderful.

on another note, here's a rain poem.

i love rain

rain asking to get into fireplace-warm rooms
or begging me to dance in liquid sunshine
ice crystals dancing between raindrops
rain-sheets tied with multi-colored bows

i love rain - cold
shivery-down-my-spine rain
warm-kisses-rain on fluttering eyelashes
wet lightning-charged spring-perfumed

i love wearing patagonia layers
on cold-rain cambridge mornings
i love wearing wet t-shirts
on the warm island-of-a-hundred-rainy-days

i love rain

-zita maria evensen

my student emi's words

2005-07-02T07:34:00.000+09:00

ため息すると幸せが逃げる。

when you exhale, your happiness will run away.

swatch irony

2005-07-01T12:23:00.000+09:00

this is what my watch looks like after i was caught in the rain yesterday.

not so waterproof, apparently.

upsurt/quattro/track 02

чебурашка в щайга

2005-06-29T22:50:00.000+09:00

днес видях, че човек може да си купи чебурашка за 2260 йени. или една щайга чебурашка за 5520 йени.
продават го/я в неомарт, магазин в центъра на киото, предлагащ приятни дреболии и дизайнерски мебели.

миналата година продаваха семейство барба под всякаква форма -- тетрадки, ключодържатели, химикалки, кукли (малки, големи и още по-големи).

тази година звездата е чебурашка. кой ли ще е следващата?

conversations

2005-06-28T20:46:00.000+09:00

andrea

2005-06-28T20:44:00.000+09:00

daisies III

2005-06-28T20:29:00.000+09:00

и...твойта майка

2005-06-28T01:35:00.000+09:00

два часа през нощта е, а аз седя, будна като роса и слушам "ъпсурт". и се чувствам напомпана с енергия. и съм настръхнала като охладено пиле. и не ми пука от каквото сигурно трябва да ми пука. и ми е добре. ха.

ъпсурт и белосава -- и твойта майка

no name #1

2005-06-27T09:40:00.000+09:00

this morning the weather is just like the weather on a late august morning in Varvara. a hot breeze playing with my bamboo curtains gives me the illusion that if i dare to look behind them, i'll see the sea.

dj krush feat. esthero -- final home (vocal version)

моята стая/my room

2005-06-24T22:22:00.000+09:00

this one is old, but i like it.

little things

2005-06-24T21:52:00.000+09:00

wonderful things about today (in no particular order):

calling a dear friend i hadn't called in almost a year and her not asking "who's this?". i just said hi and she just laughed and said how happy she was i called. може да прозвучи кретенски, но, мишо, обичам те. it was eight in the morning and she was just starting work. it was two in the afternoon here.

paying attention to track three of me'shell ndegeocello's new album and being totally blown away by it. i've said this before, but this song is yet another proof that skin can react to music.
the cd is, roughly said, a jazz album. and so much more. then again, the word jazz is big enough to encompass so much. this leads me to point three of...

discovering the band "brazilian girls" who are mostly boys, actually. i cannot even begin to describe how alive their music makes me feel.

talking to my mom and her being so...i guess affectionate is the word. loving and understanding.

getting a hug from a great friend here. a hug with the whole body, warm and long.

paying my phone bill and being in contact with the world again.

having a beer by the creek on 哲学の道. no fireflies tonight, but still good.

maybe i should stop writing in lists.

me'shell ndegeocello featuring sabina sciubba -- aquarium

"We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be, but, for the first time let's just allow ourselves to be whatever the fuck it is we are."

2005-06-10T00:24:00.000+09:00

the last couple of days i:

looked all over kyoto for counting crows cds; none were available.
rediscovered two books i love, but hadn't read in awhile.
have been craving junk food, especially, and to my utter horror, mcdonald's.
went to see the light bugs.
bought cool new shoes. bright red leather adidas. as a friend put it, the kind of shoes that'd look really good when they're old.
lost a few pounds.
wanted to cry really badly.
laughed a lot.
played spin the bottle in a dance club; kissed friends and random people.
sat and watched the sunrise at sanjo starbucks with two good friends.
exchanged e-mail addresses with a bum.
watched 'garden state' at 6am.
was 'in it' once.

elliott smith -- say yes

"i feel infinite."

2005-05-29T22:20:00.000+09:00

"There is a feeling that I had Friday night after the homecoming game that I don ‘t know if I will ever be able to describe except to say that it is warm. Sam and Patrick drove me to the party that night, and I sat in the middle of Sam’s pickup truck. Sam loves her pickup truck because I think it reminds her of her dad. The feeling I had happened when Sam told Patrick to find a station on the radio. And he kept getting commercials. And commercials. And a really bad song about love that had the word “baby” in it. And then more commercials. And finally he found this really amazing song about this boy, and we all got quiet.

Sam tapped her hand on the steering wheel. Patrick held his hand outside the car and made air waves. And I just sat between them. After the song finished, I said something.

“I feel infinite.”

And Sam and Patrick looked at me like I said the greatest thing they ever heard. Because the song was that great and because we all really paid attention to it. Five minutes of a lifetime were truly spent, and we felt young in a good way. I have since bought the record, and I would tell you what it was, but truthfully, it’s not the same unless you're driving to your first real party, and you're sitting in the middle of pickup with two nice people when it starts to rain.”

-- Stephen Chbosky, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"

alanis (unplugged) -- princes familiar

cigarette break

2005-05-27T22:08:00.000+09:00

the books -- none but shining hours

"...i'd like to go home and go to sleep..."

2005-05-24T18:46:00.000+09:00

the books are my new favorite band.

the books -- if not now, whenever

procrastination break

2005-05-24T02:27:00.000+09:00

god, i'm so lame. here i am stealing an old survey from sara, just because i don't want to work. sigh. it's a small one, at least.

Album that:

you fell in love to: Dreams that Breathe Your Name, Elysian Fields

is for winter: Boys for Pele, Tori Amos

pumps you up: Transient, Gaelle.

your best friend would be surprised you own: Fatherfucker, Peaches

saw you grow up: Extraordinary Machine, Fiona Apple

you'd miss most if it were stolen: The Koeln Concert '75, Keith Jarrett

you fuck to: Mezzanine, Massive Attack

you make love to: Comfort Woman, Meshell Ndegeocello

makes you feel cool because you own: I Am The Fun Blame Monster, Menomena

is best for driving at night: Temperamental, Everything But The Girl

reminds you most of home: Statues, Moloko

sparked major change: Figure 8, Elliott Smith

cushioned a smashed-up heart: Bavarian Fruit Bread, Hope Sandoval & The Warm Inventions

you'd recommend to the next person you saw on the street: Lost and Safe, The Books

is in your car/discman/hip portable mp3 thing right now: Knuckle Down, Ani Difranco

you listened to on 9/12/01: i have no idea

is for summer: anything Mazzy Star

was playing when you were in your first car accident: never had a car

you'd want playing at your wake: Kind of Blue, Miles Davis

xiu xiu: i love the valley OH

...to be new in an instant

2005-05-24T00:07:00.000+09:00

i was early for work today, and as i was going out of the trainstation, it started pouring outside. violent, warm, beautiful summer rain. i stayed under the roof for a few minutes to watch it.

* * *

"Teach myself to be new in an instant
Like the truth is accessible at any time
Teach myself it's never really one or the other
There's a paradox in every paradigm"

ani: paradigm

midnight snack

2005-05-23T01:47:00.000+09:00

gherkin with peanut butter*. that's actually tasty. thanks.

* -- rani's original recipe

it's 1.48am and i gotta get back to work. sigh.

elliott smith -- junk bond trader

2005-05-22T21:03:00.000+09:00

some of us got tired...

2005-05-22T21:02:00.001+09:00

and then some.

2005-05-22T21:02:00.000+09:00

having a good time on the train on our way back

2005-05-22T21:01:00.001+09:00

gaijins taking over the station!

2005-05-22T21:01:00.000+09:00

which way do we go?

2005-05-22T21:00:00.000+09:00

pretty flowers on the way to the station.

2005-05-22T20:59:00.001+09:00

cool and the gang

2005-05-22T20:59:00.000+09:00

really. we couldn't stay longer.

2005-05-22T20:56:00.000+09:00

2005-05-22T20:55:00.000+09:00

...but even good times have an end. so here's us packing up to go back to kyoto

2005-05-22T20:54:00.000+09:00

ah, good times...

2005-05-22T20:15:00.002+09:00

..but i succeeded. they weren't happy about it.

2005-05-22T20:15:00.001+09:00

...it was hard...

2005-05-22T20:15:00.000+09:00

i was trying to get them to look in my direction...

2005-05-22T20:13:00.000+09:00

the knots. what more can i say.

2005-05-22T20:12:00.000+09:00

crying...sleepy...too much sun?

2005-05-22T20:11:00.001+09:00

everybody doing their own thing :)

2005-05-22T20:11:00.000+09:00

clients kept coming!

2005-05-22T20:10:00.000+09:00

here's some more activity going on...beach hairdressing!

2005-05-22T20:09:00.000+09:00

the water was freezing cold, but some of us did take a bath...while others didn't dare.

2005-05-22T20:08:00.000+09:00

here's our living radio -- mr.owen with his beautiful guitar. i didn't catch her name.